Posts Tagged ‘Humor’
Flip Wilson – Ugly Baby
November 5th, 2010Fifty Dollars is Fifty Dollars
May 29th, 2010
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year.
And every year Morris would say,
‘Esther,I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’
Esther always replied,
‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars,and fifty dollars is fifty dollars!’
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,
‘Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.’
To this, Esther replied,
‘Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
‘Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! ‘
‘But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.’
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again…
But still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,
‘By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.
I’m impressed!’
Morris replied,
‘Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out,
But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!
Where to find chuck norris
May 12th, 2010
Chuck Norris Facts (Part 2)
May 12th, 2010- Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs of beer and pooped on the floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
- Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
- In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
- A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
- Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris once brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by rubbing it with his beard. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew that Chuck giveth, and Chuck taketh away.
- There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
