Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Fifty Dollars is Fifty Dollars

May 29th, 2010

Morris and Esther make a humorous couple.Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year.
And every year Morris would say,
‘Esther,I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’

Esther always replied,
‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars,and fifty dollars is fifty dollars!’

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,
‘Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.’

To this, Esther replied,
‘Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

‘Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! ‘

‘But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.’

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again…

But still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,
‘By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.
I’m impressed!’

Morris replied,
‘Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out,
But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!

Where to find chuck norris

May 12th, 2010

Google chuck norris

Police Medic?

April 29th, 2010

Humorus and funny picture of a policeman

Kevin James in King of Queens

April 29th, 2010

Obama & The Intelligence Test

April 28th, 2010

Obama prays and is visited by one of God’s angels.

He asks the angel, “Sir, how can I govern this country well?”

“Well,” says the angel, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Obama frowns “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The angel replies, “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.”

The Angel then snaps his fingers and summons George W. Bush.

“What’s going on?” Asks Mr. Bush.

The angel smiles. “George, I have a riddle for you. Your mother and father
have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, George Bush answers, “That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” says the angel. The angel then snaps his fingers and George Bush is sent back to his ranch and the angel disappears.   Obama is excited and can’t wait to try out his new intellgence test.  He calls in little Timmy Geithner.

“Tim! Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” says Geithner. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

Geithner goes to Joe Biden’s office and and asks him the same question, but Biden is unable to answer.  So Geithner calls up Nancy Pelosi and asks her the question.  She, too, is unable to suggest an answer.  He calls several people he knows in the administration and in Congress, but no one can come up with the answer.

Geithner is feeling depressed and is about to contact his boss to tell him the bad news when he comes across David Axelrod in a hall of the White House. “David! It’s so good to see you.  Can you answer a riddle for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Says Axlerod. “It’s me.”

Geithner is happy to have finally received an answer to the riddle.  He thanks David Axlerod and runs all the way back to the Oval Office to see Obama.

“Say, Barack, I did some research and I finally have an answer to that riddle.”

Obama is all smiles.  “Great! Who is it?”

Geithner smiles happily and points toward Axlerod’s office. “It’s David Axlerod.”

Frustrated, Obama gets up, stomps over to Geithner, and angrily yells into his face . “No, no no, you stupid ass. It’s George Bush!”

Reprinted with a few changes

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